Superheroes, and guilt...

"He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money" - Benjamin Franklin 

I just watched the "Superheroes" documentary, made my Michael Barnett, for the second time.  And again, I finished watching it with an odd feeling of hope and inspiration.  For anyone who hasn't seen it, the film follows small groups of civilians, and in all honesty, nerds...who dress up like their own unique superhero and attempt to stop crime and injustice in their cities.  Everything from confronting drug dealers in a park, putting up flyers to raise awareness about a local "groper", and a lot of community outreach to the homeless...giving food/water/hygienic products and most importantly, a connection to people who don't look at them like second class human beings. 

I initially wanted to pass this off as hokey.  And it is, there are a lot of people who help who don't put on costumes and make a difference in their communities everyday.  But these are total randoms, people with nothing to do and instead of squandering their money on nonsense, or idealizing pop stars and actors and rappers who don't give a shit and have zero sense of social conscious.  They decide to put on funny outfits, and walk the streets at night, doing good.  I can't hate on it, and even find myself inspired. 

I mean, I'm a drummer in a moderately successful rock band.  I have 30 college credits and about 4 hours of volunteer time to my name.  All I really did, was meet 3 guys who are also capable musicians, and worked trying to write good music and get it out to a lot of people.  In reality, a mostly self-serving task.  And yes, I've been trying the way I know how, collecting cans of food at shows for  years and trying to divvy up some of this new found reward to charity and what/not.  But something like this film puts a rock in my stomach, one that's there because my life is getting better, and if I decide to open my eyes everyday, so many people need help.  And the difference between me and them is typically an odd twist of fate, something that we have no control over that put me here and put them there. 

Luckily I have a job that effects people in a positive way.  And a singer who writes things who inspire people.  I recognize that, and this is one of a few career choices that I find worth in.  That doesn't mean what people do isn't worthwhile, this is just my personal set of unfounded expectations for the world.  You have to do what you have to do to get by, and a self-righteous point of view doesn't always fit into that.  But if there is anything this little documentary taught me, is that we ALL can be doing something more.  No matter what position you're in. 

Angry Americans...

"Divide and rule, the politician cries; unite and lead, is watchword of the wise."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I was supposed to try and relax today. My back hurts, I have this tingle in my fingers, and I'm 5 days into a coffee and green detox. But as I argue with borderline racist, self-righteous neo-cons on news websites I can feel my body tense up and my blood boil. The Zimmerman/Martin situation has really brought the nuts out of the nuthouse. And it's highlighting how unbelievably divisive and intolerant the nature of Americans today are. It's truly frightening, from both sides.

It may be part of this new red state, blue state phenomenon that has swept us up. I don't even remember this before 6-8 years ago. Until we started covering elections like NFL fantasy draft boards and providing the country with 24 hour, up to the minute, truly content-less news. Someone, somewhere seems to be benefiting from the American "line in the sand." This side or that side. Yes or no. But the whole concept of democracy in action is finding some middle ground between the voice of ALL people. Not over the top, morally guided policy. Again, on either side. That's where the 99% people are dead on. Many parts of the constitution are designed for us to defend against the tyranny of government and limit the exclusivity of power, not to better equip its own people to destroy each other. We need a leader who knows how to cross that bridge, not build another one. Sorry...bad metaphor.

But, you know what? Obama does come off pompous and over-schooled. When I read his comments on the proposed GOP budget today, I had a little bit of mouth throw-up when he called it "thinly-veiled social Darwinism." Seriously dude? After driving around all corners of this country for 15 years, I truly understand how half of America can not find common ground with a man like this. Just how the other half could not believe that George W. Bush could win, twice. I voted for Obama, and typically agree with many of his policies and social stances. And just like Texans wanted to have a beer with G.W.B, I'd love to shoot hoops with Barack. But I've lost significant faith in his ability to lead ALL people in this country.

If there is any case I can make for a guy like John Kerry, or Mitt Romney even...is that their thought is malleable. If a guy caters, and changes what he says to appease the people he represents, maybe he's a good politician. I'm starting to see less harm in that. How has it been going since we started nominating people with their own rigid, social and moral agendas to put in place?

Don't worry, I'm not switching sides. I'm just mad at everyone right now. I wish we just all had donkey hearts...with elephant balls.

Wondering...

It's one in the morning or so, the apartment is quiet, and while watching the tail end of the Heat/Blazers west coast broadcast, I wonder.

I wonder about life, and what this window I have in it means. If it's a useless snapshot of ones personal consciousness, which will end, and ends forever when it does. I wonder if a million years will feel like a blink of an eye and I could re-awake in another time. I wonder, less and less these days, if I'm being judged by my actions. I wonder if Humanism could actually save the world, or if only a rigid, well formulated set of rules and regulations is man's only savior against himself.

I also wonder about other things. I wonder if Alex Levine is right, and pro wrestling is a legitimate form of entertainment and sport. I wonder if Nascar drivers piss themselves. I wonder what a guy like Gerald Wallace puts in his hair, and if Joel Pryzbilla has to order some kind of special bed to sleep in. When I'm in Europe, the hotels have 5 1/2 foot blankets ... where one is left to the old shoulder vs. foot coverage dilemma. What does Joel do there?

I wonder about nature versus nurture. I wonder what I would be like if I was born and raised in one of those dusty towns I drive by in the mid-west. I wonder if I'd still be interested in the same things, if I'd look the same, and if the personality I have would ever surface? I heard recently that Darwin may have been wrong, and the tendencies we pick up through life do physically alter our DNA for future generations. Makes sense. Shit, made sense the other way too.

When the earth being flat was the common perception, what did people think happened to all that water? I wonder what kind of game changer the scientific community will throw at me next? I already lost Pluto, and being a Scorpio ... are the Scientologists right? Are we really just vessels?

No wonder I can't sleep.

Barack's Mac & Cheese...

"Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest." - Kinky Friedman

I often wonder, do people like Barack Obama, Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney fix their own macaroni and cheese?

This is a real question I pose. And something, to me, that can be taken as a huge microcosm of the disconnect between American politicians and the citizenry they're voted to speak for. Does Rick Santorum know the difference between Kraft powder blend or deluxe? Does he know the pecking order from homemade, to store bought, to frozen, to boxed? Does Joe Biden know that if you leave out milk, and double up margarine, your M&C is significantly creamier?

I could make that box without looking at the directions from a very young age. Even adapting various cooking methods of the Stouffers family size to include Morningstar Chik patties and Swiss cheese. A method that will be consistently mocked for it's lack of speed, but damn you to hell if you don't think it's delicious. ( I guess this paragraph was designed to make me feel normal, and in the context of this article, somehow superior to those I'm talking about...just being honest)

Now, please don't get me wrong. I don't find a lack of knowledge about the nuances of macaroni and cheese to be a real detrimental quality in a candidate. In reality, if he takes the time I take thinking about this stuff, he shouldn't be president. I just often wonder, more and more these days, do these people have any idea how normal people live?

I mean really, between the current state of political mudslinging and what happened during the NBA lockout, I really can't stand listening to wealthy people yell at wealthier people. It's all too much for one person, and our ideology supports it. The American state of mind that puts surplus and comfort and selfishness to the forefront of most motivations.

I find the idea of dying on top of a pile of money obscene and absurd. Somehow, I feel like we've been conditioned to think these things ARE our identity, when simply they are not.

I got off topic here. Maybe I'd just vote for the person who makes the best Mac & Cheese...do food stamps still cover those, Newt??

Pills...

"When at last we are sure, You've been properly pilled, Then a few paper forms, Must be properly filled. So that you and your heirs, May be properly billed."
- Dr. Seuss

A couple of years ago, in a late night haze, I stumbled upon a commercial for RLS, also known as Restless Leg Syndrome. I watched and wondered, "Is this why I'm awake"?, is the natural impulse for my legs to dance and shake in the night my problem? "RLS, you devil", I thought. Then the commercial ended, and I realized I'd just watched a 2 minute, paid-for advertisement, selling me a disease. With nothing else. I was baffled and skeptical, and then put it out of my head.

Until about 6 months later another commercial appeared in the night. This time, selling the miracle cure for this plague, RLS, that has consumed so many peoples lives for so long. Astonishing I thought, they sold the disease before the cure. Not only did they market an illness prior to the cure. They did it so apparently, that one semi-conscious insomniac got wise to it. These companies either think people are really dumb, or...people are really dumb.

It's no wonder that after some research I found out that prescriptions in the US have gone up to 3.4 billion dollars annually, a 61% increase from a decade ago. This industry is a beast, to the point that medicating people is written into the education of a doctor.

Someone brought it up to me the other day how common it is to see drugs prescribed for something different than what they were initially intended. Again feeding my feeling that the last 20-30 years of people, Americans specifically, have been guinea pigs for the drugs and companies that produce them. Who the fuck knows what this stuff does to us.

I've seen it with half a dozen people I know. It starts with one illness treated with medication. Which causes something that is treated with another pill. Then that one, now highlighted with the mixture of two, causes something else. Treated with what? Another pill, and so on and so on.

I don't want to sound like one of those pinko, YouTube nut jobs, who thinks every guys Imovie is as credible as the encyclopedia. But it does feel like some kind of dubious mind control, and with the type of influence and power the companies who produce the drugs make, I certainly wouldn't be surprised if hands were in pockets down the line to government, mostly on the lobbying side. Especially with $289 billion dollars in annual sales to the pharmaceutical market in the US alone.

Maybe it's good for the powerful few for us normal people to be sedated. Having people fixated about cholesterol numbers and getting a full 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. Keep that serotonin pumping and the lemmings will continue to spin the wheel.

Maybe people have good reason to sweat and wake up in the middle of the night.
Maybe people are on the edge of anxiety filled breakdowns because of the world they live in, not the struggle inside their head. This makes me think of something my brother told me recently. He said, "there are a thousand definitions for mental illness, but not one concrete definition for mental health." We're treating "problems" with undiscovered solutions.

I know I'm paranoid, but this makes me nervous...


**My "info" from this is from Wikipedia...so who the fuck knows if it's true.**

I'll have the pankcakes in the age of enlightenment, please...

I've been looking at posting on this blog as some sort of homework assignment, where if I don't do it up to a certain snuff, it's not worth posting. This logic has lead me to NEVER updating the blog and only occasionally finding the energy to organize my thoughts and turn it to letter form. So today, I'm going off the cuff...let's see how it goes.

I'm all about this website Kickstarter. For anyone who doesn't know, it's a new site used to fund creative projects and help them come to fruition. Even though it's run via Amazon for the money aspect, it's an incredibly D.I.Y way for artists/musicians/authors/filmmakers to remove the "funding" middleman. Which is typically some fairly obtuse corporation who is used to bridge the gap from artist to consumer. This cuts it out, and directly puts the power in hands of people who want to see these projects completed for the sake of art and personal satisfaction. Secondly, statistical progressions give me a real boner, and it's how the website is organized.

So far I've donated to the re-mastering and re-release of the pinnacle 80's NYC graffiti documentary, Style Wars. And also this really interesting film project called "The Iran Job", which seems to mix two of my favorite things, basketball and fervent feminism. This is a link to the Huffington Post article about said film:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-stambler/kickstarter-case-study-th_b_1119387.html

Speaking of basketball, myself and the other 9 Nets fans in NJ are thrilled to have an NBA season. After the lockout, we'll get a 66 game season starting on Xmas day. If you ask me, this is how many games the season should be anyway. For too long the NBA regular season has just been a cursory warm-up to the playoffs, a shorter season would help prevent that. Not sure what the hell David Stern is pulling with the Chris Paul/Lakers trader, in all my years of following sports, I've never seen a commissioner pull the plug on a fair deal worked under current labor rules. Daniel Gilbert is a whiner, remember when he said the Cavs would win a championship first year without LeBron? What a nut job.

In music news:
Gaslight has been getting together quite often and working on the new record. We're in a great flow right now and I'm getting more and more excited with each song we finish. I'd say we're close to 3/4 through with the meat of the record, and tons more ideas are kicking around. Can't wait to leave town and lay this thing down...

The Bottomfeeder 10", on Alex's new label, Human Blood Records, will be officially out on December 16th. It's got nice gray/black/blue splatter on the vinyl, and our good friends at Letters From Earth printing ... (http://lettersfromearth.net/) did a great letter press cover on nice French card stock. Stoked.

Ok, that's the culmination of brain diarrhea series one...I'm not really naming it, I just look for any opportunity to include the word diarrhea into a sentence. One Love!

The Witching Hours...

"Sleep is the product of caffeine deprivation" - Author unknown

I just woke up. Feeling pretty refreshed. Got a nice chunk of sleep, uniquely uninterrupted by a needy dog or a thug kids car exhaust. Problem is...

It's 4:30 in the morning...

The biggest dilemma for me in dealing with insomnia is this element. I'm ready to start my day. Brew some coffee and walk the dog and grab a paper and sort out a plan to tackle the hours ahead. But insomnia, among other things, leaves me out of sync with most of the world. I'm ready to go, but the world isn't awake yet.

This issue isn't terrible when I'm at home. I have a couch, movies and a computer...food in the fridge and a closing door to where my girlfriend sleeps. I can wander around in the witching hours generally doing my thing without incident. Luckily I have a profession that allows these sorts of flexible hours. The only true everyday downside is an occasional bout of grumpiness, and I guess diminishing years on the end of my life.

The spotty sleep can be a terrible problem on the road. I've spent many a night wandering the grounds of a European squat house looking for a sliver of light to read. Or sat in a room, zombie-like, staring to the middle distance surrounded by slumbering bodies. Or pretending to be dead in a moving bus bunk. Less options for distraction on tour, in the middle of the night anyway.

One time in Trier, Germany...I was flopping around in a bunk bed and broke a 2x4 that landed on my drivers chest while he was sleeping. When I left the room a minute after, I was greeted by a gang of over sized and sinister looking German rats. If anyone has ever read the Maus books, you'll empathize with my panic.

On the good side of things. I've seen the sunrise creep over Niagara Falls with one leg in America and one in Canada. I've seen the sunrise come up over the driftwood and calm surf off the coast of Victoria. I've seen it come over an endless stretch of road in Kansas, being the first thing that greets you in hours, just barely tinting the horizon.

For all the frustration not being able to sleep brings, it's also an opportunity to use time that no one else gets to use...